Emotional vaccuum. Does it ring a bell? Basically what I have understood by it is that in any relationship there are several needs which need to be fulfilled..physical, material, social, emotional...Out of these its easy to deal with the physical needs - food, clothes, toys, books, schooling - we make sure our child goes to school, we make sure he has tuitions, we make sure he has toys to play with, we make sure there is his favourite food in the kitchen and so on. And we also think that we have done our job as a parent. A few questions we may need to ask ourselves - Is my child emotionally secure? Do I have a positive emotional tie with my child? Or does my child despite all my efforts still crave for something more? A hug, a kiss, an "I love you", a piggyback ride...Does my child believe that he or she is the most precious thing for me? Or is he or she battling with my work or other committments for my time? Is there an emotional vaccuum between my child and me? Nothing which cant be remedied. But before that its the acknowledgement of EV being there in the first place. Its tough as we all think we are doing the absolute right thing. But being tough doesnt mean impossible.
And if the child has some special needs then it becomes even more imperative to identify this vaccuum and fill it up with love and tenderness. Our kids are very fragile emotionally and they need all the positive reinforcements they can get.
So lets promise ourselves that we will make a conscious effort to love our kids even more and tell them...loud and clear. After all, bache to aapne hai na!!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
You Cant Make The Whole World Happy...(based on empirical findings!)
We spend a good part of our day trying to make everyone happy and unfortunately despite our trying and trying again there are always a few who have a whole lot of nasty things to say about us. And then we feel sad and stressed, "oh, why did so and so say this about me? What did I do? Why is he/she not happy with me blah, blah, blah". We cant make everyone happy. We try but we fail. And then we learn not to spend all our energies doing something which is not going to happen. Just do your bit according to your values, expertise and let the world be..
For me meeting one child means connections with - mother, father, sister, brother, friends, teachers, aunts, uncles and in some cases "didi" - so if I falter and not do what ONE person out of the lot wants, too bad. Its the child that is my priority not his/her extensions. Yes I will give a fair hearing to all but do what is best for the child.
If someone wants to rile and rant, ignore. Conserve your energies for the bigger issues in life..as long as you know you are doing your best, all is well!!
Carry on..
For me meeting one child means connections with - mother, father, sister, brother, friends, teachers, aunts, uncles and in some cases "didi" - so if I falter and not do what ONE person out of the lot wants, too bad. Its the child that is my priority not his/her extensions. Yes I will give a fair hearing to all but do what is best for the child.
If someone wants to rile and rant, ignore. Conserve your energies for the bigger issues in life..as long as you know you are doing your best, all is well!!
Carry on..
Monday, August 24, 2009
Jaane - Pahchaane Hain?
Do You Know This Child?
Seven years old who hates going to school. He has a stomach ache every other day. In school he is not able to recognise letters whereas the class is reading words. The teacher is full of complains starting at his inability to sit in his place for more than ten seconds going on to his hitting out if he doesn’t get his way. His handwriting is a squishy scribble and he just refuses to write. His knowledge about the space is phenomenal and he can rattle out facts which even his science teacher doesn’t know of. He doesn’t have any friends and sits glued to the television whenever he gets a few moments.
Or What About This One?
A ten year old, who attends a mainstream school. Her teacher feels that she has difficulty in comprehending written passages. She seldom volunteers for reading activities and complains of print blurs while reading. While reading, she exhibits low phonetic awareness. Her parents described her as a girl who has trouble in relating clearly a sequence of events, compared to other girls of her own age. Her mother also recalls that she was unable to learn nursery rhymes as a child, in spite of exposure to them and efforts to help her learn.
Or Does This Profile Ring Any Bells?
An eight year old whose teacher complains that she cannot complete written assignments on time. Her writing is slow and laborious with many spelling mistakes. She tires easily and complains of pain in her fingers when asked to write. Her mother feels that she is lazy as she is very good in oral responses. Her writing samples show, apart from spelling mistakes, omissions, insertions and difficulty in spacing. Her syntax is also poor.
Seems Familiar?
A twelve year old was good in studies scoring above average marks in all but one subject in every exam. However, for the past one year he has expressed unwillingness to even go to school. His mother intuitively understood that it was probably a result of his deep fear of mathematics in which he is weak. This resulted in his teachers constantly hauling him up in class, saying that he is a lazy boy who does not apply himself – an observation which was misplaced and one that hurt him very much.
Or This One?
A child who cannot copy from the blackboard. His handwriting is illegible and the teacher is always complaining about his poor spellings. He forgets names of places and cannot identify characters in a story. He has a limited vocabulary.
- ALL THESE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNING DISABILITIES.
- SOME DYSLEXIC, SOME DYSCALCULIC AND SOME DYSGRAPHIC
- ALL OF THEM ARE GROSSLY MISUNDERSTOOD.
- ALL OF THEM FACE THE RIDICULE OF THEIR CLASSMATES,THE WRATH OF THEIR TEACHERS,
- THE FRUSTRATION OF THEIR PARENTS AND LAST BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THE FEELING OF WORTHLESSNESS.
- ALL OF THEM AND THOUSANDS MORE SAILING IN THE SAME BOAT NEED HELP.
- HELP WHICH IS LONG OVERDUE!
Seven years old who hates going to school. He has a stomach ache every other day. In school he is not able to recognise letters whereas the class is reading words. The teacher is full of complains starting at his inability to sit in his place for more than ten seconds going on to his hitting out if he doesn’t get his way. His handwriting is a squishy scribble and he just refuses to write. His knowledge about the space is phenomenal and he can rattle out facts which even his science teacher doesn’t know of. He doesn’t have any friends and sits glued to the television whenever he gets a few moments.
Or What About This One?
A ten year old, who attends a mainstream school. Her teacher feels that she has difficulty in comprehending written passages. She seldom volunteers for reading activities and complains of print blurs while reading. While reading, she exhibits low phonetic awareness. Her parents described her as a girl who has trouble in relating clearly a sequence of events, compared to other girls of her own age. Her mother also recalls that she was unable to learn nursery rhymes as a child, in spite of exposure to them and efforts to help her learn.
Or Does This Profile Ring Any Bells?
An eight year old whose teacher complains that she cannot complete written assignments on time. Her writing is slow and laborious with many spelling mistakes. She tires easily and complains of pain in her fingers when asked to write. Her mother feels that she is lazy as she is very good in oral responses. Her writing samples show, apart from spelling mistakes, omissions, insertions and difficulty in spacing. Her syntax is also poor.
Seems Familiar?
A twelve year old was good in studies scoring above average marks in all but one subject in every exam. However, for the past one year he has expressed unwillingness to even go to school. His mother intuitively understood that it was probably a result of his deep fear of mathematics in which he is weak. This resulted in his teachers constantly hauling him up in class, saying that he is a lazy boy who does not apply himself – an observation which was misplaced and one that hurt him very much.
Or This One?
A child who cannot copy from the blackboard. His handwriting is illegible and the teacher is always complaining about his poor spellings. He forgets names of places and cannot identify characters in a story. He has a limited vocabulary.
- ALL THESE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNING DISABILITIES.
- SOME DYSLEXIC, SOME DYSCALCULIC AND SOME DYSGRAPHIC
- ALL OF THEM ARE GROSSLY MISUNDERSTOOD.
- ALL OF THEM FACE THE RIDICULE OF THEIR CLASSMATES,THE WRATH OF THEIR TEACHERS,
- THE FRUSTRATION OF THEIR PARENTS AND LAST BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THE FEELING OF WORTHLESSNESS.
- ALL OF THEM AND THOUSANDS MORE SAILING IN THE SAME BOAT NEED HELP.
- HELP WHICH IS LONG OVERDUE!
Special Children Need Special Teachers
The time when you could “become” a special educator (term used for educators who are trained to teach children with disability) just by spending some time with children with special needs is long gone. Special Education is being looked at with respect and at times with awe. If one desires to become a special educator, one has to get some professional training, be it a certificate course, a diploma or a degree course. The choice of the course depends upon the objective of the person in question – is the objective to gain knowledge, to work with children in an “informal” setting, to work in a “structured” environment like a school or a clinic or higher education? Whatever the objective, the bottom line is professional training. You have to make sure that you have enough knowledge, both theoretical and practical before you set on the course of making a difference in the lives of many affected. And mind you, learning is an ongoing process which continues all your life. Therefore, make sure that you regularly upgrade your skills as an instructor and learn new strategies, methodologies, techniques and varied points of view.
Some of you may be thinking that here I am giving “gyan” about professional training but where to get this training from. True, where from? There are hardly any institutes which offer courses in special education. Some which do, have such antiquated curriculum that you feel like a dinosaur doing it. However, there are a few institutes which might give you your money’s worth. Check the following if interested – SNDT University Mumbai, AADI in Delhi (previously known as SSNI), Orkids Institute of Higher Learning, RCI (a few courses), Action for Autism…This is in no way an exhaustive list. I am sure I have missed out some and would request you to add to the list.
Another bit of food for thought – To specialize in a “specific” disability. That is to make a conscious decision NOT to be a “jack of all” but a “master of one”. Choose a specific disability – Learning Disabilities, Autism, and Visual Impairment and so on – and get trained in it. The kind of in depth detailing one goes through is totally worth the effort.
Remember the child and the parents are investing a lot in us…most importantly hope and faith. So make sure you are equipped to handle any challenge.
Some of you may be thinking that here I am giving “gyan” about professional training but where to get this training from. True, where from? There are hardly any institutes which offer courses in special education. Some which do, have such antiquated curriculum that you feel like a dinosaur doing it. However, there are a few institutes which might give you your money’s worth. Check the following if interested – SNDT University Mumbai, AADI in Delhi (previously known as SSNI), Orkids Institute of Higher Learning, RCI (a few courses), Action for Autism…This is in no way an exhaustive list. I am sure I have missed out some and would request you to add to the list.
Another bit of food for thought – To specialize in a “specific” disability. That is to make a conscious decision NOT to be a “jack of all” but a “master of one”. Choose a specific disability – Learning Disabilities, Autism, and Visual Impairment and so on – and get trained in it. The kind of in depth detailing one goes through is totally worth the effort.
Remember the child and the parents are investing a lot in us…most importantly hope and faith. So make sure you are equipped to handle any challenge.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Why a special educator?
My first attempt at blogging so pardon any "mishaps"!!!!
Why a special educator? A question I have been asked many times. And my answer has remained the same for over 15 years..."why not a special educator?"
There are teachers gallore for children who can be categorised as "normal", "neurotypical", "regular" but hardly anyone for children who are "special". Ironical, isn't it? We call them special and treat them like wallpaper. Anyhow so here I am after almost 18 years since I started my journey towards reaching out to as many special angels I could...trying to ignite the same fire in the younger lot. The fire of wanting to make a difference to an individual, to a family, to a community, to a nation...Calling it a job or an occupation would be doing unjustice. It could be termed as a profession but I would call it a "way of life". Being a special educator ensures a constant connection with your inner self, your soul...what more can you ask for?
Did I hear someone say "moolah"? Ofcourse special educator are paid handsomely and have many opportunities to consult and freelance. So go follow your heart if its children that make you"tick"...reach out.
Why a special educator? A question I have been asked many times. And my answer has remained the same for over 15 years..."why not a special educator?"
There are teachers gallore for children who can be categorised as "normal", "neurotypical", "regular" but hardly anyone for children who are "special". Ironical, isn't it? We call them special and treat them like wallpaper. Anyhow so here I am after almost 18 years since I started my journey towards reaching out to as many special angels I could...trying to ignite the same fire in the younger lot. The fire of wanting to make a difference to an individual, to a family, to a community, to a nation...Calling it a job or an occupation would be doing unjustice. It could be termed as a profession but I would call it a "way of life". Being a special educator ensures a constant connection with your inner self, your soul...what more can you ask for?
Did I hear someone say "moolah"? Ofcourse special educator are paid handsomely and have many opportunities to consult and freelance. So go follow your heart if its children that make you"tick"...reach out.
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