How do I manage??....Am I managing...I wonder.

Some time ago I was having this conversation with this friend who has a small baby and she has practically given up everything under the sun to be with her child. And she asked me, "Geet, how do you do it?" And I got into this "gyan - giving" mode and offered these pearls after pearls of wisdom. Even I was impressed with my spiel..."We can make our lives as simple or as complicated as we want", "two bananas are a wholesome meal", "don’t over-rate the concept of quality time" and on and on I went.
And then long after the conversation I was still thinking - Am I managing? Am I doing half the things I told my friend? Is it really difficult to bring up children? Is it more difficult if you are single? Or it’s just a perception? Or our conditioning?
Notions like - Children need both parents, it is difficult to balance work and children...have plagued me too but I have always managed to get the better of it. This doubt is rearing its head again when I see that my second daughter isn't getting that much time with me like the older one did. But isn't that the case with all mothers, I wonder? The first born are usually given a whole lot more attention and time. With the second one the novelty has worn off a bit...
Frankly single parenthood is perceived to be really difficult and tough and all those adjectives. But in reality most mothers are bringing up their kids single handedly. Their (kids') daily needs of food, clothes, play, homework, PTAs, friends, birthday parties...are practically taken care of by the mothers. This is not to say that the fathers are not interested but let’s face it, fathers are generally too busy with work and earning the "bread". In the mornings the child leaves for school and in the evenings the father comes back late..usual story which is a reality in more homes than one thinks.
But yes, to believe that one will choose to have children without a spouse and take care of all needs of the children is overwhelming and very scary. Though one does get use to it but every now and then the "scary" bit comes back to haunt you...Am I managing? Am I managing?
Frankly, all mothers single or otherwise go through the same doubts and fears. The only difference being, single mothers don’t have a “stepnee” (right spelling??) to fall back on! Thus the lesson to be learnt – Make sure your servicing is on time!!
And of course all the best to those mothers whose “stepnee’s” service is long overdue!!